UK Election debates and how Twitter replaces Simon Cowell

I like Simon Cowell. Hang on… maybe like is too strong. What’s stronger than “I neither like nor dislike” but is weaker than “like”? Whatever that word is then substitute it for “x” in the following sentence. I “x” Simon Cowell. There… I’ve said it.

The thing that I x about Mr C is that he has the ability to spot talent. Not the sort of talent that could create something like Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony to be fair, but the sort of talent that the great British public will happily consume by the gallon.


It was hard not to think about Simon C (as well as Amanda and Piers) while watching the election debate. Our trio of PM hopefuls all wanting to get their hands on the broken British economy – what sort of prize is that by the way, at least with Simon you get a recording deal? All our hopefuls doing their acts as if it was the thing they had wanted all their lives, if they didn’t get through they would be devastated, all they had dreamed about was running a bust economy, my little girl deserves so much and I want to do it all for her (as well as the fame and the money), etc. etc. etc.

If only Simon were the compere – so much more to the point than Alistair Stewart.

“Look … Gordon… you’re a nice guy… but you can’t do smiles”

“OK, OK, I’ve got to know you well Nick, but I have to ask myself will the public really vote for you?”

“David, the tie is a mistake and your wearing too much make up. I blame Louis.”

Without Simon telling me what to think and with no Ant or Dec in the wings giggling and sniggering it’s going to be hard knowing who to vote for. So thank goodness for Twitter – hundreds of Simons, Ants and Decs – brilliant, extremely entertaining.

Which made me think – any chance of the next election debate having a Twitter wall behind the contestants? That way it will help me decide where to put my “x”.

I “x” you Mr PM.


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