It seems to be all the rage these days….have a rummage through your dressing table drawers, bite into that odd cufflink, that’s been single since you came back drunk from you nieces wedding, and if it’s not plastic and might be gold stick in an envelope and get some money for it.
With the price of gold being a million pounds for a milligram (yes your right I have no clue about the price of gold) we all seem to be consumed with cashing in our pieces of eight.
The craze has even hit Mrs O, hardly a wheeler dealer by any measure – she’s been out behaving like Del Boy down the market. It started when she bumped into an old friend who was coming out of a “Swap your Gold for magic beans shop”. Said friend was 50 quids worth of beans up for getting rid of a pile of shiny stuff she no longer cared for.
This triggered Mrs O to do a clean out of her jewellery box looking for gold – broken chains, odd earrings, rare Egyptian coinage, Pharaoh’s death mask – just the normal junk gold any former Egyptian deity has lying around….have I told you she was the last Pharaoh in a previous life?
At this point though the doubts set in – what did it weigh, how much was it really worth, how could she be sure she wouldn’t get ripped off, what if selling ancient relics from a pyramid was illegal. However, it’s at times like this when well chosen Christmas, Anniversary and Birthday presents come into their own. First the electronic scales were dusted down and carefully reset…..and…… yip…. 3.2kg of gold. Next the Laptop from Dell (sorry Santa)…. Soon it was browsing various Gold for Magic Beans websites…. 8.05 Magic Beans to the gram or something like that. And finally a flick through Millers Antique Guide from 1997 revealed that selling historical artefacts was completely acceptable as long as you didn’t get caught – result. So off to Gold Rush City on the back of a mule – or Stirling on the bus as it happens.
The first Magic Beans exchange shop offered a miserly deal – which Mrs O explained was well below the t’internet price. The requote jumped 60% on the evidence that Mrs O was a bit of an expert on shiny stuff – but it was still below the price anticipated. So off to Magic Beans For Gold R Us – they were much the same as the requoted price. Mrs O haggled – haggled some more – haggled a lot more…. And then left the shop with the same bundle of Egyptian swag she had entered with.
And then after some reflection, a phone call to her goldless husband.
Mrs O – “What do you think.”
Me – “Why not just get it melted down into…” interrupted.
Mrs O – “I think I’ll take out the Death Mask and the Egyptian coins and sell the rest.”
Me – “If you want.”
(The art of consultancy is always to listen to what the client wants to do and then agree.)
Anyway, whether it was an act of surrender on the part of the Magic Beans exchanger I’m not sure, but the price per kilogram went up when Mrs O went back with the de-pharaohed gold stash. She came out with 50 quids worth in Magic Beans – strangely the same amount of money her friend had received. Could this be some strange exchange mechanism at work?
But what to do with the Magic Beans? Well since Mrs O was Cleopatra in a previous life she did what she used to do then…. She nipped into Farmfoods and bought 50 litres of semi skimmed milk and poured herself a milk bath when she got home (it was all the rage in those days).